Doggie Style, yay or nay?

Recently I have heard a few people mention that doggie style is a bit overrated, its like the "go-to" position for wannabe freaks and its not living up to all the hype.  There's an art to good sex, no matter what position you're in and this position seems to have lost some of its luster.. What are your thoughts?

To Gift or Not to Gift? - That is the Question!

With the Holiday season only days away everyone is in a shopping and gift giving frenzy and I had a friend/reader ask me an interesting question that I would like to share with everyone...

Should I buy a Christmas Gift for my "Friend with Benefits"?

Now my answer for this is simple, "If you want", but let me elaborate.  I personally am a Giver. I enjoy giving gifts and I understand that the concept of a gift is to give someone something that you would like them to have.  Its a simple and easy concept to understand.  There might be an occasion or event that creates the gift giving opportunity but the bottom line is still the same, you give a gift because you want someone to have a certain item, NOT because you expect something in return.

Now if understand that the was to give a gift is with an open heart and without expecting anything in return, then you are ready to select a gift.

A friend with benefits is not just a friend, but a friend that you have a sexual relationship with, so selecting a gift might be easy.  If you have been friends for a long time or if you know of something that this person wants, then your job is simple but if you have no idea what to get, or if you aren't very close friends, then here are my tips...

• Buy something naughty - Theres nothing wrong with buying a "FWB" some lingerie or boxers, its cute, inexpensive and its a great way to remind that friend of how much you appreciate the special benefits that you have arranged.
• Buy something that you can "Share" - If you feel uneasy about buying a gift for this person, but you really want to, a sharable gift is a great compromise.  Think a massage for two, a sexy novelty game, a gift basket of yummy bedroom friendly snacks, a bottle of wine and a box of chocolate truffles, something that is a gift for you both to enjoy while you are together.
• Buy a gift for his/her home or office - this is a great neutral gift.  This gift says "I noticed you like movies/books/candles/lamps/throw pillows/pens/figurines of some sort/paperweights etc, so I thought you might like this.  This shows that you pay attention and you just thought the recipient would have interest in the particular gift.
• Steer clear of "relationship" gifts, like keepsakes, couples items (jewelry, ornaments, picture frames)
• Don't spend a lot of money.  A gift for a friend is coming from the heart, not your wallet, therefore shop from the heart as well...

Those are my suggestions, however, when buying any gift, take the recipient and his/her taste, likes, and or dislikes into consideration. 

Happy Holidays!!

Millionaire Matchmaker - And Why All Guys Should Watch It!

First let me begin by saying, I LOVE THIS SHOW... I am a loyal viewer not only because I love the drama, but Patti Stanger really knows her stuff.  Bravo TV has a ton of Reality TV shows, and they all make for awesome entertainment but this show really teaches both men and women a little about life and love, not to mention it gives us an interesting peek into the dating pool out there.

Basically the premise of the show is to match single wealthy people, all claiming to be millionaires, with potential spouses.  Patti Stanger is the owner of the Beverly Hills based "Millionaire's Club" where the millionaires are her clients and she basically helps them find love.  What I love about this show is that Patti does not go out and find woman to fit a specific description, and sticks them with the millionaire who ordered them like a mail order bride.  What she does is meets with her client, and tries to see what they are looking for and the reasons that they have not yet found a partner.  At times the client needs a makeover, needs some sort of therapy, needs to take a class, or learn a personality skill, no matter the issue, she addresses that before looking for a potential match.  She is aware that her clients are not perfect, and will not match a highly flawed or unstable person with a partner.

From watching this show and following her blog, I have learned a lot of things, but one thing that I always think to myself is "I wish more men watched this show".  Here are a few things that I've learned that I wish more men knew:

1. One of the rules of the millionaires club is that there is NO sex till monogamy.  This is a great rule because if you are using such a service to find a SPOUSE, then sex is not your primary goal, theres is sooo much more that should click first. 
2. The first date can often map out the course of the relationship. Of course this is not written in stone, but we all know how important first impressions are and first dates even more so.  Your first date is your partners first taste of you, your personality, your style, and where they stand in your life.  Be yourself, be real, but be the BEST you possible.

3. The man should plan the first date.  This is something a little old fashioned and many people may not agree with this, but I wish more men did this.  Most women, whether they want to admit it or not, want a Knight in Shining Armor to sweep them off their feet, and what better way to begin a relationship than giving your man the chance to do that.  Its the first date and everything is new and exciting, down the road you will have millions of chances to plan things and make more memories but give him the chance to romance you and slay some dragons for you, remember you cant expect romance unless you give him the chance.
4. Theres nothing wrong with chasing a woman.  Women no matter the age, want to feel beautiful, sexy and desired.  That's the bottom line.  Some women are aggressive and some may play coy, but nothing makes a woman feel sexier than being pursued.  Honestly, I feel very sexy even if a ugly guy is into me. Its just a little reminder that we are desired.  More and more men are becoming more submissive and women are turning into the hunters, but sometimes even the hunter wants to feel like a prized prey, so don't be afraid boys, theres nothing wrong with being straightforward and displaying interest.  Playing Hard to get will only get you so far...
5. Learn to use your dating data.  Every date, good or bad, is one step closer to finding you mate. Men looking for a long term partner need to stop looking at every date as a "smash or pass".  If it isn't great, well then you know what you aren't looking for, as simple as that.. If its great, then keep dating her, once you are officially only seeing each other, then head to bed!

There are a ton more great tips from this show, so much in fact that I just might write another post about this, but I would love to hear your thoughts on this...

Cougars, Cubs, and Manthers, Oh my...

Hello Everyone,

Thanks to some recent inspiration I have compiled an interesting collection of what I like to call, "relationship terms" for you...

• Chickenhawk - an older gay man who sexually pursues younger males.

• Cougar - The term is commonly applied to women who are forty or older and pursue younger men. Hunting their prey, enjoying the "prowl".

• Cradle robber or cradle snatcher - a person involved with a much younger individual.

• Cub/Tadpole - a younger male who is going out with an older partner, often paired with the term Cougar. The term is also often used in the gay community along with the term Bear^.

• Gold digger - someone who develops a relationship with a much older partner or someone whom they do not find attractive physically, intellectually or congenially for primarily financial reasons, especially to inherit the partner's wealth upon death (which is expected to come soon), or upon divorce.

• Jailbait - a sexually attractive young person who is below the legal age of consent.

• Lolita - a sexually precocious girl who is the object of desire of a significantly older man. The term's origin is the name of the title character in Vladimir Nabokov's novel Lolita, whom the book's narrator, Humbert Humbert, calls a nymphet.

• Manther - A male 40 years of age or older, who pursues younger women, typically younger than half his age.

• May–December romance - a relationship in which the age difference between the two adults is wide enough to risk social disapproval.

• MILF (an acronym of "Mother [or 'Mom'] I'd Like/Love to Fuck") - a sexually desirable mother, though not necessarily an older woman. The term is used frequently as a descriptor of pornography featuring older women, assumed to be mothers.

• Puma - a woman in her thirties who dates a younger man (i.e., 20-somethings), often considered a "cougar in training". It also means a cougar whose age disparity is less than eight years.

• Sugar daddy/mommy - a rich, usually older person who offers money or gifts to a less rich, usually younger person in return for companionship or sexual favors. This differs from prostitution in that the older person is usually the sole financial provider to the younger person.

• Boy Toy - a much younger boyfriend or husband of an older woman.

• Troll - an older gay/bi man, often a less-attractive one, who cruises younger men for sex.

• Trout - An older man who dates a younger woman.

Some of these I have heard, but most were pretty new to me... what are some interesting terms you have heard?

5 Interesting things that Turn Men Off!

Hello Everyone,

Today I did some interesting "research" and I am dying to share my results with you...
I asked around to different men and proposed this question "What turns you off sexually about a woman?"
and here are the most popular and interesting answers that I got...

1. Dead in Bed- Men hate a woman who is wack in bed... theres nothing worse that having sex with a woman whose body is limp and seems distant.  This shouldn't come as a surprise, as a woman, we don't want to be intimate with a man who isn't passionate about whats happening, so why would it be any different for a man? Men want a woman who is passionate and full of "fire", she should be totally present, and take lots of initiative, aggressive even!
2. Poor Grooming - This was the second biggest complaint - Basically, say no to bushy pubes! No one wants to dig through a Forrest of hair to find the goods, so keep it trimmed, shaved, or waxed. Its sexier and cleaner and nothing is sexier than being clean!! Ladies, keep this in mind, when you are trimmed, your man gets a better view, and we all know how visual men are!

3. Worn Out Panties - It shocked me that so many women that I know thought that their men didn't care about the type/condition of their panties... I understand that girls want to be comfortable, but there are VERY sexy panties out there that are made of breathable cotton materials that are still extremely sexy. Why wear underwear with your man that you have been with for a while that you wouldn't wear on "opening night" with a new man?? Think of your panties as the "gift wrapping", and the kitty as the "gift", it should be pretty, clean, inviting, and welcoming.. get rid of the holey, worn out, stretched out, ripped elastic, seen better days panties at the bottom of your drawer... NO ONE wants to see that...
4. Vaginal Dryness - Whether you have a medical condition, are going through menopause, or are just not turned on, Vaginal Dryness is a HUGE turnoff.  Like I mention on my previous post, wetter is better, and if you are dry, you have options... Get some replens, its a product sold to re-hydrate the vagina, designed for women with medical related dryness, or get some LUBE... Having sex with a dry women is the equivalent of fucking a guy who is soft, its difficult to do, and it makes you wonder if they are turned on... so get wet ladies! 

5. Strange Odors - This is no surprise... men are turned off my women who smell, any kind of negative smell is a sexual turn off... I often hear women say that they find it very sexy when their man smells a little sweaty, but I NEVER hear men say that.. Men often hold their women to unrealistic standards, but that's just the way they are programmed and smells are part of that issue.  If you are clean and well groomed then this will all fall into place and this shouldn't be an issue at all, all your body smells should be positive and pheromone packed!!

What are your thoughts??

Wetter is better - Lube for Dummies

Hello Everyone,

Tonight I want to talk about lube.. Basically I decided to write about this because someone I know confided in me that he and his girlfriend are still using baby oil gel in bed as lube, and basically, I cringed... so this is for him lol...

When I say "lube" I mean personal lubricant, sold for sexual or medical purposes, and designed specifically for use on the genital area.  Lube basically reduces friction during masturbation or sexual acts, and theres tons of great products on the market for this purpose. Not every slippery substance is suitable as lube. This is something that I cannot stress enough! Baby oil, petroleum jelly, and crisco (lmao) are great for a ton of other uses, but not as lube. 

Heres why:

• Most oil based lubes will cause a condom to deteriorate and weaken, therefore increasing the chance of accidental pregnancy and spreading STD's.
• Some substances are not easily washed off, they may leave a less than pleasant residue.
• Some may encourage infection in women, just because its greasy, it doesn't mean you can shove it in there.

There are three kinds of personal lubricant on the market, water based, oil based, and silicone based.  They are all great, but which is right for you depends on your preference and any allergic reactions you might have.
Here's the difference...

Water Based: You guessed it, Water based lube is made from WATER, its slippery, slick, and is easily cleaned up, just use a Little warm water and its GONE.  The downside is that it will dry up quicker than oil based or silicone based products, but the plus side is that it is 100% condom safe, no matter what kinda condom you decide to use, a water based lube is safe! The most popular water based lubes are KY Jelly, Astroglide, and WET but there are tons out there.

Oil Based:  Like I mentioned above, these are baby oil and petroleum jelly, neither are a great idea for use with condoms.

Silicone Based: These are similar to Water based in that they are condom safe and they clean up easier than Oil based lubes, they are thinner than most and are super slick. Unlike water based products, silicone lube will not dry out so theres no needs to keep reapplying (a huge plus) the only downside is that some people are allergic, so be careful when using this.  Popular Brands are Wet PLATINUM and Bodyglide.

Now those are the basics, but theres also specialty lubes out there, like the His and Her varieties which offer warming, numbing, cooling and tingling sensations as well, the lube you pick is up to you but be safe and get WET!!

Mental Cheating

Hello Everyone!! In today's post I want to talk about what I like to call "Mental Cheating".  Since I began writing "Love Bites", more and more people have come to me with their problems, suggestions and questions about their relationships.  One particular suggestion I got from a friend and reader was to write about "Long Distance Cheating".  This concept grabbed my attention right away because, what exactly makes long distance cheating different than regular cheating?  After further discussion and some research I realize that he meant cheating with someone who you NEVER meet. Let me elaborate... Cheating in my book mean being in a committed relationship with a person and doing something with the opposite with another "partner" that your partner would not allow.  This obviously means sex, touching, kissing and things of the physical nature, but I think it also covers heavy flirting, intimate phone calls, intimate meetings, "Sexting", and much more. Just because you don't actually have intercourse, its still sort of cheating.

Now here's what I like to call "Mental Cheating".  Mental cheating is having an intimate relationship with someone that you never meet in person.  This differs from long distance cheating because the distance doesn't matter, the parties involved will most likely never meet and probably have very little desire to do so.  The person who asked me about this is a handsome man (lets call him John), he is in a committed relationship with a beautiful woman who he is very in love with, and they have started a family together.  He explained to me that over the past year he has begin speaking to other females on the Internet, and more recently over the phone and he feels like hes sort of cheating on his spouse.  I began to ask him why and his reasons we very interesting and eye opening.  John told me that over the years his girlfriend has begun to show him less and less passion and enthusiasm about the relationship. He met a woman online who seemed very interested in him physically and they began chatting.  This woman made John laugh and was interesting, and most importantly found John interesting.  She and John would text and call each other, they would send each other funny emails, and talk about their families, they even Sexted!  John thought she was beautiful inside and out, from what he could gather, and he felt very sexy and wanted when speaking to her.  She lived in another town and they never met.  In my book, that's cheating.  Particularly the Sexting.  I am pretty sure that if his significant other knew about this she would feel violated and unhappy with the situation, so why did he do this? 

He told me that he did this to feel special, and to have a woman feel passionately about him and be interested in everything he did. Over the years his girlfriend had begun to show less and less enthusiasm about him and he sought this from this other woman.  He said that part of him did want to someday meet her, but a part of him didn't. He felt like the relationship was perfect just the way it was.  He had his girlfriend who he loved, he had his family, and he had her, when he needed to talk, or wanted to feel manly, sexy, wanted, and reassured in a way that his wife no longer made him feel. 

What are your thoughts on this?  Do you think "Mental Cheating" is as bad as the real thing? Do you think its more common than we know?

Bite It!

Today's long overdue post is all about biting.  The vampire phenomenon is on the rise and everyone has what I like to call "Twilight Fever", so biting has become very sexy.  Sensual Biting, as I like to call it, unleashes a raw and animalistic side to every person and creates a sense of pure passion and is a great technique to master. Basically, if you want to see a woman squirm with pleasure, use your teeth during foreplay.

Here are some tips:

• Bite her erogenous zones: Start at the nape of her neck, inner thighs and work your way to "Sweeter" areas, these areas feel amazing to be kissed and even better to be bite,.
• Make it quick: The key to keeping Sensual biting from hurting is to keep it quick. Take small nibbles that last only a few seconds, this will ensure that there is just enough pain to feel good without making your partner feel like are in bed with Dracula.
• Create a Climax: Start of slowly, licking and nibbling gently and slowly add pressure and increase as the passion builds, the additional pressure will keep it exciting and makes the ever so slight pain stand out from all the other sensations being felt at the moment.

• Marks: Be careful with marks.. unlike necking in high school , most adults today are very turned off by marks and hickeys, but some can be very sexy. I hate the idea of walking around with a purple bruise on my neck, but a similar mark on my inner thigh, or even my abdomen can be sexy to have lingering for a few days, reminding me of a passionate moment.

Basically, whether you are in bed, on a date or just "having a bite", biting can be a very sexy and unique way of expressing the way you feel.  So next time you are kissing someone goodbye and you don't want to let go..... grab a little bite...

Sensual Massage - For Dummies

Massage is such a beautiful thing, its a great way to connect with other people and the power of touch is amazing. Everyone wants to be touched, when we are hurt, or when we try to console one another our natural instinct is to touch, rub or pat each other.  Most importantly, when we want to connect emotionally, massage can play a very important role. For many years massage has been used as a natural form of medicine and can improve circulation, relax muscles, and promote healing. Not many people know this but I am a licensed massage therapist but I do not currently practice.  In this post, I really hope to provide good tips on how we can all use massage in our relationships, to set the mood and enhance intimacy and most of all, how to do it correctly.  Here are some of the Basics.

Things you need:

Lush Strawberry Fields Massage Bar

- Oil, the main component that can make or break any massage is the type of lube you use. I like oil, you can use any type you like but I like using sunflower or almond oil, but baby oil works great too. I prefer to use warm oil (you can warm it by placing the bottle into a bowl of hot water for a few minutes). This will not only feel great but leave your skin feeling silky and soft.  There are also many great products on the market designed for "Sensual Massage" (not to be confused with actual therapeutic massage).  Some of these products are: Lush Massage Bars, these look a lot like a bar of soap but with slowly melt with your body heat and create a great moisturizing massage oil. My personal fav is the Fever Bar or the Strawberry Fields Forever, which is on the right. 





Tasty Temptations Massage Candle



Another type of sensual massage product is the "self heating" and "edible" kind, that is warm, feels great, smells good, and tastes amazing.  Some of these are the Kama Sutra Warming Oil, and the Tasty Temptation Massage Candle (on left).  The Kama Sutra Oil tastes great and becomes warm when you breathe on it, and the Massage Candle melts into a massage oil that is edible.  Using these specialized products are a great way to get close, get in the mood, and start licking *wink wink*.



Kama Sutra Massage Oil

Here's a word of caution, be careful with edible products, some products taste awful, I would not recommend anything cherry or grape flavored as they tend to taste similar to children's cough syrup and there's nothing less sexy than thinking about children's cough medicine.





- Candles - Candles or dim lighting is a MUST! You want to feel romantic and relaxed and fluorescent lights are not gonna cut it. If you have dimmers, you them. Otherwise, grab some candles, or throw a red scarf over a table lamp for a romantic glow to the room.  You want to create a romantic atmosphere where nothing matters but the two of you.

- Music - Romantic Music is a great way to set the mood. You can use whatever you like, a favorite artist, some old school slow jams, or even some ambiance noises (water, nature, birds chirping). My person favorite is Keith Sweat...

- Create a Massage Area - Here's where you can really get creative, you can do this in bed, on the floor, outside, where ever you want.  I think the floor works best. Its firm and you can lay out lots of soft blankets and pillows to make it comfy, yet still firm enough to provide good pressure and of course leverage. 

Now here's the important part, tips on the actual act of massage:

-Get into a good position - For sensual massage, I think the best position is to straddle your partner, you are close, touching and still in a position to get good leverage.

- Be fluid - Keep your movements continuous and fluid, no stopping, nothing feels worse then someone rubbing their hands back and forth in the same spot in a disconnected fashion, just keep your hands moving the whole time, up the back, across the shoulders, down the arms, and back, it feels great, fluid, and most important complete.

- Enjoy it - Don't think of massaging your partner as "work", this is time for you both to enjoy each other and its a labor of love, if you are tired or bored, switch places, just make sure to be yourself, be playful and sexy and remember, whatever you are feeling, your partner will be able to sense it, so bend over, get messy and have fun!

The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex - a good read

Hello Everyone,

Today I want to share a book with you... "The Good Girls Gide to Bad Girl Sex" is one of the best books I have ever bought, I probably spent about $20 on the book but when I tell you I read this thing cover to cover, I am not lying... I have never really considered myself a "good girl" but I bought this book to see what is considered a "bad girl".  The author is a former Sexual Surrogate and is a Sex therapist, which means she would teach couples how to please each other (at times by demonstration lol) and later became a therapist herself. 

Although at first glance it just looks like a book about sex and positions, she really talks about a lot more.  While reading it I realized that being a "bad girl" is more about how you perceive yourself and less about your actions, its about embracing your inner sex kitten, and being okay with that..

With chapters titled like "Bad girls feel good about being bad", "Bad girls dress the part", and "A Bad girl knows her body" (and many more) she basically encourages and inspires every woman to release her inner bad girl.  Don't get me wrong, she does get into detail about actual sexual acts, and is very descriptive, which is great, but she does it in a way that says "this is normal and you are totally sexy no matter how this ends up" if that makes sense...

I recommend that every woman go out and grab this book, and even men, if you spot this in Barnes and Noble, I would flip through the pages, you never know what you might learn ;-)

I will try to post some little excerpts and some of my fav parts soon in another post...

Have any of you read a book like this? How do you feel about reading such a book?

Eat Out.. the basics

There is very little mystery about a penis, its self explanatory and any woman with common sense and a little spit can figure out how to give head... or so I've been told.. but a woman's body is a little more complex and its not quite as easy for men to provide GOOD HEAD..

Oral sex performed on a female is known as cunnilingus and has been around for many years.  It was once thought of as a taboo act but has now become more popular and mainstream.

First let me begin by explaining that there are two types of women. There's the type that love getting head, and they type that never got good head.  The reason i say this is because if done correctly, whats not to love? 

In order to provide good head, you need to know the ins and outs of female anatomy.  Because men are very visual thinkers, I have a diagram. Basically you need to find the clitoris.  If you cant find her clit, please stop reading.. there's no help for you.

First, here are my warnings... I am not a man, this is written from the prospective of a woman.  I am speaking from personal experience, and a collaboration or first hand testimonies and actual research. This is in no way directed toward anyone or intended to offend anyone.

Here are my tips and suggestions:

1. Did you know that 80% of women cannot achieve an orgasm during sex unless they are on top? Those numbers don't surprise me at all because for most women, its all about the CLIT, so my first piece of advice is to pay most of your attention to that area. 
2. Start of slowly, the clitoris is a very sensitive area with a lot of nerve endings, so don't go burying your face in it like its a peach, start with your hands, survey the area and then begin licking gently. After a few minutes, she will be warmed up enough for you to dig in.
3. Leave your tongue and jaw soft and relaxed to avoid cramping, the last thing you need is to tire yourself out before she has even realized whats happening.
4. Don't neglect the rest of her body. Just because you are focusing on one area, it doesn't mean you should neglect the rest of her.  Lick all the surrounding areas and keep this in mind, Jane Austen once said "A good lovers hands never stop moving", foreplay plays a huge part in this and its important to remember that you are pleasing her whole body. Her thighs, breasts, stomach, every part of her body is waiting to be touched.
5. Its okay to enter the vagina with your tongue, its a sensitive area and it feels good on some women, but don't try to initiate tongue intercourse, the chances of providing her any kind of mind blowing pleasure out of that are slim to none. Its a great way to mix it up and add a little diversity but please don't over do it.  There's nothing worse than laying there while someone tried to literally have sex with their tongue... seriously... its awful...

6. Don't use the ABC technique.. its a popular misconception and i have heard men swear by it, but I just think its too much of a distraction.. there shouldn't be a rigid method, you should be enjoying this and so should your partner. 
7.  Don't let it get boring, use licking, sucking, and even soft nibbling through your lips to keep it exciting and add variety. Enjoy it and have fun with it and make sure she knows that your enjoying it every step of the way, be vocal, tell her she tastes great. 
8. Feel free to use your hands. Using your hands is not a bad idea, just don't be to rough, or try to penetrate her until she is well lubricated.  Remember this is not all about penetration, keep it minimal and see if she is enjoying it, its different for all women.
9. Keep a steady pace, women like rhythmical stimulation. It doesn't have to be really fast, just constant.  Follow her body and you will pick up on the subtle movement of her body. 
10. My last main tip is to play around with positions. The basic missionary style position works great but feel free to play around, everyone knows about the good ole 69, but maybe have her on all fours like you would doggie style, or lay back and have her sit over you, find what works good for you and experiment to find what you both enjoy and are comfortable with.

Now on this topic, I have tons more to say but as always, I don't want to end up writing a novel here... so what are your thoughts?

Sexually Enhancing Beverages?

Hello Readers! Today I want to talk about a new trend of designer beverages, and more specifically beverages that claim to spice up your sex life. 

Over the years the energy drink trend has skyrocketed and everyone is looking to get results from a can, not so different from housewives of the 70's, we all want instant gratification, we can energy, focus, memory, and now Passion. 

Truth be told, I was first told about this drink from a friend. She mentioned using it and said she didn't really feel like it helped her in bed but she said it made her male counterpart really horny. It peaked my interest, mainly because I was curious about what the ingredients were.

The Pur3x Designer Beverage company has a few other products out but its newest and most popular is PASSION, and energy drink that is designed to enhance intimacy and boost libido. This drink is said to contain some of the most powerful herbal sexual stimulants available, including horny goat weed, muiria puama, yohimbe bark extract, and catuaba bark extract.

"PUR3X Passion is low in sugar, low in calories and high in taste and high in results. You can drink Passion daily to improve overall performance and drink it 30-45 minutes before sexual activity." - TwistedParties.com

 As if all of that info wasn't enough, my friend gave me two cans.. lol
They have been sitting on my desk for about 2 weeks and I have yet to try them... but I guarantee that once I do, I will be posting an updated blog.. Now has anyone tried this before? I suppose this is just like using an aphrodisiac or some other "mood enhancing" type of thing, but is this going up the road to Viagra, or will it just set the mood? Who knows...

Friendship after Sex... is it possible?

Hello Everyone, In this post I would like to address the raising popularity of Causal Sex and how it effects friendships.  Friends with Benefits is a term that I hear more and more frequently and it makes me wonder, what do you do with that friend once the benefits are gone (meaning once you are bored, or someone ends the agreement)?

I happen to believe in any sexual relationship, one of two things end up happening...

1. Someone develops feelings
2. Someone gets bored

So in the instance of "friends" with benefits, when one of those things happens, the situation changes entirely.  I have witnessed people in this sort of agreement fall in love with each other and have it turn into a great stable relationship, and that's a beautiful thing, being friends and then lovers is how some of the best love stories begin, but in the latter scenario where someone loses interest in the other person, does that mean that friendship is forever lost?

I don't think its possible to ever be "just friends" with someone that you were sexually involved with.  I think that once that line has been crossed the friendship has been tainted and every visit, conversation, or experience after that moment will always be biased and different than any other innocent friendship. Even if both parties agree to end the sexual relationship, they will always find themselves thinking about that experience, sizing up the other persons future romantic prospects etc...

What are your thoughts?

Foreplay

Foreplay is a MUST in sex. It prepares the body to enjoy sexual experiences, and gives each partner a much needed warm up time to get in the mood for something memorable and exciting.
It's always good to take the initiation in sexual matters rather than waiting for your partner to do the same.

1. Get your partner prepared ahead of time; tell them how much you are waiting to just grab them and touch them and do the things you want to do. Just the thoughts will excite your partner!
The stage needs to be set for a fantastic evening. (Or morning, in some cases.) Stimulate all of the senses. Fantasize about sexy scenes, and build your anticipation and creativity.

2. Take a shower, or nice bubble bath (my preference). Cleanliness leads to good sexual performance. A shower builds up your senses, loosens muscles, and naturally increases blood flow which makes you more receptive to touch.

3. Studies show that during foreplay, more attention is given to the face and and upper abdomen. So start at the bottom instead. Try out toes, legs, or inner thighs. Stroking and massaging the inner and outer thigh increases blood flow to the genitals, which of course helps for a better orgasm.

4. Kiss in a very subtle manner, and not just on the lips. Some extremely sensitive and sensual areas are the earlobes, the back of the neck, and the happy trail. This will lead to kisses on some very erotic areas. :)

Kissing and rubbing your bodies is a great start, and an even better combination. You could use chocolate and other aphrodisiacs. The important thing to remember is that foreplay should lead to heightened arousal for sex. Therefore, it should be slow and gradual, completely exploring all of the erogenous zones.

Welcome JonesieLuv!! A L0veBites Guest Blogger!

Hello Everyone!!

I would like to introduce and welcome my dear friend JonesieLuv to L0veBites!! Since I began blogging she is not only a loyal reader but she encouraged and supported me every step of the way! She always has interesting opinions on things and great advice!

I cant wait to read her future posts and I hope you feel the same way too!

Jealousy.... is it ever a good thing?

Hello Everyone!! I am back from my little vacation and I know you all cant wait for today's post.  I had a specific post in mind, but I decided to postpone it because a loyal reader sent me a question, so my readers come first!

"Is it ok to want my girlfriend to feel a little jealous?"

Now before I begin, let me say this yet again, I am not a professional and all of my posts are based SOLELY on my personal opinion... ok, here goes...

I think a little jealousy is a good thing in any relationship, and this is based on my enjoying the feeling i get in a relationship when there is a tiny hint of jealousy.  In long term relationships we all get comfortable, and we expect our partners to love us for who we are, and trust us.  Little by little we worry less and less about the competition, and more and more about kids, bills, and making each other happy as a whole, and worry less about who else is out there. THIS IS GREAT, and its what relationships are all about, but we often forget about that thrill we feel when there's a little innocent jealousy.  Its just the way imitation is the best from of flattery, jealousy in very small doses is a very sweet form of admiration.  When we feel a little jealous, we pull ourselves back out of that comfort zone, we worry a tiny bit, we put that little extra effort into the way we look, the meal we prepare, we kiss a little longer, we hug a little tighter... and the best part is, its like medicine, a little goes a long way.  Use it wisely and the results can be great. 

Here are ways that I've used it with success:

• When someone flirts with me, I choose to TELL my partner all about it
• Don't feel badly about being flattered, when someone complements me, i smile, blush and even giggle, its OKAY..
• I elect NOT to hide innocent male acquaintances, its okay to have friends of the opposite sex, and its important for your partner to see you interact with other men/women.  That way you don't become some extension of himself that never speaks to another man, you are a woman and men interact with you in front of him, and even when he is not around.

In this post, I am not telling anyone to go out and try to make their partner jealous, I'm just saying that i happen to believe that a little jealousy can be healthy. 

I cant wait to hear everyone's thoughts on this!

Going On Vacation

Hello Everyone!! Just a little FYI, I am going on Vacation for a few days! I will be taking my little Niece to DISNEY!! It is her first time and she is thrilled and I am pretty excited too..  I will return later this week and I guarantee that I will have a fantastic post for you when I return!!

My 3 biggest flirting tips (For the Ladies)

So today I was looking at one of my favorite sites sosuave.com and I read an article called 3 Things you must do when talking to women, in this article they suggest that you appear curious, express admiration, and convince her that you are listening to her.  Now, I really liked this article, mainly because I want a man to do that when speaking to me..  This inspired me to share my 3 flirting dating tips:

• Be Visual: I think when speaking to a man, any man, its important to be descriptive. Men like to see things (no big surprise there).  I know that this sounds like a lot of work, but remember, descriptive can be VERY sexy..
• Let your body language speak: Sometimes words are just words, but body language speaks volumes.  Lots of people are good at reading body language, but the majority has difficulty picking up on this, but the best part is that the person that you are speaking to will subliminally pick up your vibe. (Ex. You can say "Its so warm in here", or you can caress your neck and mention the warmth of the room..) Basically, your body language sends out HUGE non-verbal signs and can make the different between looking like a prude or seeming welcoming. 
• Don't be afraid to be sexy: So many women steer clear of being too sexy because they don't want to seem like a slut, but there is something VERY sexy about a man or woman who knows what they want and isn't afraid to share it.  Obviously you don't want to seem perverted or desperate, but you should be yourself and be real.  There is nothing wrong with being confident and proud of your sexuality and stating your likes and dislikes. Not only will you blow him away with your confidence but you're going to leave him with sex on the brain :-)

What are your flirting do's and don'ts? I would love to hear from both the men and women on this one..

Cheating - Interesting Survey!

Infidelity is more common today then ever before.  It seems as though finding a loyal partner is as rare as it is valuable, so I decided to take a better look at this deception and I found lots of great info that I cant wait to share.

Firstly, I must give some credit to a loyal friend and reader who has given me so much support and encouragement to write this blog.  My friend Quashja has backed me every step of the way and I really appreciate all her help and advice! Now that I have thanked her for being totally awesome, I mush thank her again for suggesting that I cover Cheating.  I can tell from now that this will not be my only post on this topic because there is just so much to cover, but this is just the first of many. 

I didn't know where to begin this post with, so I decided to start with the basics, the statistics.  Like I said before, cheating is becoming more and more common and I believe this is associated with the rise of "Casual sex". As sex becomes more "casual", it loses its value, purity, and importance in a relationship.  This takes me back to watching Pretty Woman, when Julia Roberts plays a hooker who's one rule was no kissing on the mouth.  As a prostitute that engaged in sex with many men, sex lost its value, allure, and overall romantic association, so she preserved kissing, and associated that with emotion.  This is sort of how I think cheating has risen in popularity.  Sex has lost its romantic association with so many people, they look at it more as a pleasurable activity and less like love making.

On my quest to learn more about cheating I found this very interesting site.  Here is a Survey for cheating spouses, basically, if you have ever cheated, you can go there and take the survey. If you have never cheated, you can skip it and view the results to learn more about cheating and to have a look at the very interesting statistics.

I would love to hear every ones thoughts on this site, and like always I love feedback.  Also, if there is anything specific that you would like me to discuss, feel free to post it, or send me an email.

How important is sex in selecting a long term partner?

Today's post is all about the role sex plays in selecting a partner.  More and more i notice that young people consider sex more important that a lot of other things in relationships.  Gone are the days of dating with the intention of marriage, today people date with the intention of getting their partner into BED.  I wont pretend to be a saint and say that this is wrong or anything like that because like most of my peers I've been there, but I do want to hear every one's opinion on this matter. 

If someone was to ask me to rate in order of importance the things that i look for in a partner this would be it :

1. 
   
   Kindness - this is so important in a lover, life partner, and a parent to my future children, When I think about the kind of man I want to spend my very valuable forever with, a kind man is the first think that comes to mind.
2. 
   
   Someone Funny - I love to laugh, and at the end of the day, whether things are good or bad, i want to be in the arms of someone who can make me smile when the whole world is making me frown.
3. 
   
   Confident - I have seen this make or break relationships a million times.  If you are confident then there jealousy will be minimal, not to mention, confident men are GREAT in bed (so I've heard).
4. 
   
   Ambition - I love a man with drive and ambition.  Nothing is a bigger turn on than a go getter.
5. 
   
   Good Credit and Money Management Skills - I work hard for my money and so should my man, I don't expect him to be rich (I'm no gold digger) but I want someone who is money smart and knows how to spend wisely and can balance his checkbook, is that so much to ask for?
6. 
   
   Good intellectual conversation - I have dated enough men from the gutter to know that I need a man who can stimulate me with his conversation, he should be smart, and clever and keep me on my toes. When I am 80 years old sitting on my front porch with my husband and I can barely move, all we are going to have left to please eachother with is great convo!
7. 
   
   Someone attractive - different things attract me to a man, I really have no type, I just like what I like, if that makes sense but Attraction comes seventh on my list because I think all of the above are far more important than good looks.
8. 
   
   Someone good in bed - this is 8th on my list and its because sex is different to every person, and if someone can stimulate me mentally in all the ways i listed above, i think by the time we make it to bed, there will be fireworks, and if there aren't, we would be able to make magic together, and work on it, practice makes perfect after all :-)

What are your thoughts?

10 Interesting Sex Facts



1. Do you think of sex several times in a day! Don't worry you are not the only one. 54% of men and 19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day. The typical person spends about 600 hours having sex between the ages of 20 and 70.

2.  If your girlfriend or wife is complaining about a headache, then you can be her hero and cure her with sex! Research indicates that powerful endorphins or pain killers are released by females during orgasm.

Is kissing good for your health? Apparently kissing is also good for your health, the extra saliva that is exchanged may reduce tooth decay. 

3. Semen contains zinc and calcium, both of which are proven to prevent tooth decay.  It also contains a lot of protein what has been proven to tighten the skin.  The protein that is left behind when sperm dries on the skin can significantly reduce wrinkles.  Recent research also suggests that women who swallow sperm after giving fellatio face less risk of getting breast cancer.

4.The average size of an erect penis is 5 inches, and the average flaccid (limp) penis measures about 3 inches.  That's pretty sad if you ask me.

No wonder women are preoccupied with size!

5. If you are worried about your weight, or are a fitness fanatic, then you will be glad to know that you can burn up to 200 calories by having 30 minutes of active sex.  You can burn 26 calories a minute, thats with tongue :-)

6. In Hong Kong women get an interesting right to punish their husbands. cheating husbands are faced with a lot more than steep child support and alimony payments like those here in America.  A betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her husband if he cheats on her – but she may only do so with her bare hands.

7.According to the Museum of Sex, the vibrator was originally used as a medicinal treatment for female "hysteria" during the 19th century. Vibrator induced orgasms helped doctors alleviate hysteria and anxiety related symptoms.

8.  The term "Blow Job" comes from Victorian Times.  Back then the term for a prostitute was “blowsy” and the term for ejaculation was “blow”. Needless to say the act of fellatio eventually developed the name "Blow Job".  In Greece the common slang for a blow job was “playing the flute”. Studies show that women who went to college are more likely to enjoy oral sex (giving and receiving) than high school dropouts.

9. Did you know that humans are not the only animals that have sex for pleasure?  Dolphins, Chimps and some Gorillas do too! Some have been observed engaging in face-to-face genital sex, tongue kissing, and oral sex.

10. Studies have shown that men who look at male porn produce more sperm. Men who watch two men and one woman produced more sperm than those who looked at just women. Scientists speculate that seeing competition makes men step up their baby-making capacities.

What do men find sexy? This might surprise you..

Over the years I have read countless articles everywhere from Cosmo to the Internet all about what men find sexy.. They all usually bare a common trend, they are polls done, large scale over a huge test group of men, that were asked by perfect strangers about what they find sexy. So I decided to do my own research.

Before I begin, here is my disclaimer,

The following information was not done by a professional, it was not done under any specific testing conditions, and the large test group was really a random group of men that I happen to know very well.

The plus side to this is,

I am not a stranger to these men, they know me very well and they were
all very honest and eager to voice their opinions. The men I spoke to were
all between the ages of 18 and 35 years old.

So here goes... I asked REAL men this question:

"What unusual things do you find sexy about a woman?"

Here are some of the responses:

•Feet - So many of the men I spoke to said they are very turned on by a woman with nice feet. They like them to be small, pretty, with painted toenails. They judge a woman by the way her feet are maintained and use this as a guideline for the way she maintains the rest of her body, if you know what I mean, lol. Many of them said they like to lick and suck toes, therefore nice feet are a MUST.

•Ears - A few men mentioned that they find a woman's ears to be sexy, all of the Ear men admitted to be avid ear nibblers.

•Perfect Teeth/Smile - Majority of the men I spoke to said they like a woman with nice teeth and a pretty smile, this one was a no brainer, so I got a little personal and asked them to elaborate.. this part was interesting because most of them said that a pretty smile consists of very white and perfectly straight teeth, one said "I like a perfect set of white teeth, it makes me jealous, its hot", and one said "I love a straight perfect smile like yours". The interesting part about this is that when I asked them to describe perfect, many said my smile, but my teeth aren't the whitest, and my front teeth are significantly crooked, so that does say a lot about their observation skills.

•Imperfect Teeth/Smile - A surprising amount of guys told me that they like flawed smiles. Some liked when a girl had a gap, some liked crooked teeth (like mine), and some liked braces, one said "I like when a girl has something special about her teeth, they aren't perfect but they are very her, like a little gap, its sexy"

•Camel toe - Every woman's enemy, lol. Most women walk around dreading camel toe, but word on the street is that some men actually like it, when I asked WHY???? They all said, "Its self explanatory".

•Smooth Skin - Smooth skin looks healthy, it glows and it beckons to be touched, so its obvious that men would find this appealing, but one of the explanations I got was interesting.."Women with smooth skin and nice shoulders are really sexy to me, the creamier looking the better".

•A nice Back - I was told "I like a woman with a nice Arch in her back, it highlights her assets from the back", also "I like the way a woman's back looks right between the shoulders, that's really a turn on".

•Big Nipples - This was a shocker for me, but a HUGE amount of the men I spoke to said they liked large breasted women, especially those with large nipples. One even said that he was attracted to women with "puffy areolas, the puffier the better".

•Full Lips - The majority of the guys I spoke to said that they love to see a woman with nice full lips, and that they don't like lipstick, but several said they like clear very glossy lip gloss.

•Eyes- The boys are all suckers for pretty, flirty eyes. Some said they liked makeup and others said they just like long eyelashes and nice arched eyebrows.

•Not so flat stomachs - I always thought that men all wanted girls with killer abs, but most of the guys either didn't even mention stomachs or said that they liked women with a slender waist, and a smooth stomach, or with a little rounded pudge around the navel, mostly flat but curvy and womanly.

Now here comes the fashion preferences:

•Women in formal wear or business attire seemed to be a crowd favorite, maybe its a play on their naughty teacher, sexy secretary fantasy, but they all seemed to like this.

•BOYSHORTS!! Gone are the days of the thong, while I don't think there is a man out there that would turn down a attractive woman in a thong, most guys seem to be into the boyshorts these days.

•Women in sweat pants came in second, and I am thinking that this one was for all the ass men out there that just like the way the fabric hugs a woman, or because a woman in her "down time" is sexy.

•Messy hair was mentioned a lot. Maybe its that, "just had sex" look..

•Skirts, a lot of guys said they love women in skirts. Could it be view of the legs, or just the idea of "easy access", we may never know..

One thing that some of the guys mentioned was that they like a smart, independent woman, who is confident and very aware of her self worth, they are drawn to women who are funny and enjoy laughing. I think this probably universal, a happy confident person makes a happy confident partner.

I am DYING to hear every ones feedback on these topics...

Let's get dirty..

There's a famous quote/joke:

"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks
dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute" -Unknown

I always found this funny because its so true. Most men love the dirty talk, it goes along with the stereotype than men like their sex to be dirty, wild, and out of the norm, but who exactly dictates that norm? Another stereotype that can be derived from this quote is that women DO NOT like dirty talk, and that if a man talks dirty to her, its sexual harassment, meaning she is being violated and disrespected.

Well ladies and gentlemen, this quote is true in the sense that men love dirty talk and would pay almost $4 a minute for it (if not more), but wrong in the assumption that women don't like it themselves.

On the contrary, I happen to think that dirty talk can be amazing and if done well, simply ORGASMIC. About a year ago, I read a post in MarieClarie.com written by a man, basically wondering, "do you like dirty talk?" and I wanted to scream at my computers screen, "YES, if done right!!!". In this article, the writer tells a story about dirty talk gone wrong, and how turned off the woman was, and then he goes through scenarios of dirty talk, and the negative responses that could possible occur, like "oh you bad girl" meaning that he would sound like a pedophile.

So girls and boys, here are my Dirty talk tips:

• Keep it simple stupid! - Don't get too creative, don't try to throw in any over the top dirty euphemisms. Good: I cant wait to get you out of that dress/pants/shirt.. Bad: I am gonna tear that dress/pants/shirt like a tiger. This leaves your partner thinking, "like a tiger? really buddy?" Its totally fine to start off simple like the example, and use a statement like that to test the waters.
• Two can play that game - Dirty talk often fails because only one participant is participating. Sometimes all it takes is a little "audience participation" to turn a one man show into a party for two. Ask some open ended questions! Good: Do you like when I _____ your _____? Its simple, straight to the point, and it gives your partner the opportunity to join in on the fun, whether that means nodding, saying yes, or even getting braver and giving a longer reply.
• Be gradual - When dirty talk is accompanied by physical interaction, be gradual. Start off slow, and let your words be an accompaniment, don't let it steal the show. Think of it like a hot dog, your words are the condiments, you want to use them to enhance the flavor, not steal the show. The worst thing you can do is reach your verbal climax during your physical foreplay.
• Use it as a long distance link- This isn't really a tip, but more of a suggestion. For those of you in long distance relationships, or business trips etc. use a little dirty talk (or phone sex) to keep the sparks flying while you are apart. Web cams, and sexting are taking over the scene, but there's nothing sexier than something erotic coming from your partners mouth.

Hopefully this was helpful, and can open some eyes and convert a few prudes.. I would love to hear your thoughts on this, and hopefully we can get some sex talk tips/anecdotes from the readers... :-)

To clip or not to clip?

So, I got into an interesting convo today and I decided to blog about it...

What's better, a circumcised penis or an uncircumcised penis? I would like the opinion of both males and females on this one.

On the right, there's a poll, please cast your vote, and feel free to leave comments on this matter, I would love to hear every ones opinion on this.

Personally, I have no preference regarding this, but I happen to know lots of women who are very picky regarding this issue. I cant tell you how many women I know have mentioned that they would not "bed" a guy who hasn't been clipped. Although I personally don't feel that way, it sort of makes me want to circumcise my children when they are born. I know that its cleaner and its becoming more and more the norm, but I think my opinion is more influenced by the chance that my sons foreskin might negatively effect his sex life...

What are your thoughts?

Do we expect our partners to be mind readers?

First of all let me begin this post by saying, Communication is the key to any relationship...

A Greek Philosopher once said, "We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak", and I think he was really onto something...

In any relationship, between family, friends, or lovers, Communication is the most powerful tool you have. This is the way you relate to each other, share your concerns, and provide your support, among other things. The funny thing about communication is how misunderstood it is...

Communication is a 3 part process:

1. Listening: You would be amazed at what a bad listener most of us are.. Time and time again i find myself in a situation where someone mentioned something to me that i could swear I never heard. Its insane that we go through our lives talking and hearing but not really listening at all. Often times i notice that people spend their valuable opportunities to listen, planning their rebuttal instead.
2. Speak: Share your thoughts, questions, concerns, support, and every one's favorite part, your side of the story! This is your chance to get things off your chest, so use it wisely, think through your words and let them be your tool.
3. Understand: This is the most important part of communication, taking time to understand. Understanding is a two part process as well, you need to understand what your heard and understand the result of the things you said, and how they effected the person they were said to.

More often than not, people fail to communicate with each other and the sad part is we do this with the most important people of all, the people who we are the closest to, and those that we love the most... These victims are the people who we ASSUME to know us the most and we EXPECT them to read our minds. Now I don't know about you, but I am no mind reader. Unless a person tells me straight forward what is on their mind, there's no way I can use my psychic abilities to derive that information, and frankly its selfish to expect that from anyone.

The moral of the story is this, no matter who or what, don't leave anything left unsaid, seize the moment and the opportunity to speak your mind and share your thoughts!