Let's get dirty..

There's a famous quote/joke:

"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks
dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute" -Unknown

I always found this funny because its so true. Most men love the dirty talk, it goes along with the stereotype than men like their sex to be dirty, wild, and out of the norm, but who exactly dictates that norm? Another stereotype that can be derived from this quote is that women DO NOT like dirty talk, and that if a man talks dirty to her, its sexual harassment, meaning she is being violated and disrespected.

Well ladies and gentlemen, this quote is true in the sense that men love dirty talk and would pay almost $4 a minute for it (if not more), but wrong in the assumption that women don't like it themselves.

On the contrary, I happen to think that dirty talk can be amazing and if done well, simply ORGASMIC. About a year ago, I read a post in MarieClarie.com written by a man, basically wondering, "do you like dirty talk?" and I wanted to scream at my computers screen, "YES, if done right!!!". In this article, the writer tells a story about dirty talk gone wrong, and how turned off the woman was, and then he goes through scenarios of dirty talk, and the negative responses that could possible occur, like "oh you bad girl" meaning that he would sound like a pedophile.

So girls and boys, here are my Dirty talk tips:

• Keep it simple stupid! - Don't get too creative, don't try to throw in any over the top dirty euphemisms. Good: I cant wait to get you out of that dress/pants/shirt.. Bad: I am gonna tear that dress/pants/shirt like a tiger. This leaves your partner thinking, "like a tiger? really buddy?" Its totally fine to start off simple like the example, and use a statement like that to test the waters.
• Two can play that game - Dirty talk often fails because only one participant is participating. Sometimes all it takes is a little "audience participation" to turn a one man show into a party for two. Ask some open ended questions! Good: Do you like when I _____ your _____? Its simple, straight to the point, and it gives your partner the opportunity to join in on the fun, whether that means nodding, saying yes, or even getting braver and giving a longer reply.
• Be gradual - When dirty talk is accompanied by physical interaction, be gradual. Start off slow, and let your words be an accompaniment, don't let it steal the show. Think of it like a hot dog, your words are the condiments, you want to use them to enhance the flavor, not steal the show. The worst thing you can do is reach your verbal climax during your physical foreplay.
• Use it as a long distance link- This isn't really a tip, but more of a suggestion. For those of you in long distance relationships, or business trips etc. use a little dirty talk (or phone sex) to keep the sparks flying while you are apart. Web cams, and sexting are taking over the scene, but there's nothing sexier than something erotic coming from your partners mouth.

Hopefully this was helpful, and can open some eyes and convert a few prudes.. I would love to hear your thoughts on this, and hopefully we can get some sex talk tips/anecdotes from the readers... :-)