Today's post is all about the role sex plays in selecting a partner. More and more i notice that young people consider sex more important that a lot of other things in relationships. Gone are the days of dating with the intention of marriage, today people date with the intention of getting their partner into BED. I wont pretend to be a saint and say that this is wrong or anything like that because like most of my peers I've been there, but I do want to hear every one's opinion on this matter.
If someone was to ask me to rate in order of importance the things that i look for in a partner this would be it :
Kindness - this is so important in a lover, life partner, and a parent to my future children, When I think about the kind of man I want to spend my very valuable forever with, a kind man is the first think that comes to mind.
Someone Funny - I love to laugh, and at the end of the day, whether things are good or bad, i want to be in the arms of someone who can make me smile when the whole world is making me frown.
Confident - I have seen this make or break relationships a million times. If you are confident then there jealousy will be minimal, not to mention, confident men are GREAT in bed (so I've heard).
Ambition - I love a man with drive and ambition. Nothing is a bigger turn on than a go getter.
Good Credit and Money Management Skills - I work hard for my money and so should my man, I don't expect him to be rich (I'm no gold digger) but I want someone who is money smart and knows how to spend wisely and can balance his checkbook, is that so much to ask for?
Good intellectual conversation - I have dated enough men from the gutter to know that I need a man who can stimulate me with his conversation, he should be smart, and clever and keep me on my toes. When I am 80 years old sitting on my front porch with my husband and I can barely move, all we are going to have left to please eachother with is great convo!
Someone attractive - different things attract me to a man, I really have no type, I just like what I like, if that makes sense but Attraction comes seventh on my list because I think all of the above are far more important than good looks.
Someone good in bed - this is 8th on my list and its because sex is different to every person, and if someone can stimulate me mentally in all the ways i listed above, i think by the time we make it to bed, there will be fireworks, and if there aren't, we would be able to make magic together, and work on it, practice makes perfect after all :-)
What are your thoughts?
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3 Response to How important is sex in selecting a long term partner?
I'm going to be completely honest...for me, sex is in the top 5, especially with a life partner. I do understand that so many people in our generationg rely on sex for so many things, whether its to justify their love, get certain things they want, etc. But for me personally, sex is a bond that is shared with someone you care about, and its satisfying. I don't know if I can be with a man who didn't satisfy my sexual appetite. I look forward to having a good sexual experience, and a man who couldn't deliver that to me would be no use lol. Now I'm not saying I would be with a man who JUST had good sex going for him. I'm just saying that good sex is right there with good family values and a great sense of humor...
I can understand that.. I think that for me, Sex is def important, however I indended to make the point that it didn't come first.. Of course you are right, a life partner should satisfy you sexually (otherwise it could lead to wandering eyes etc...) but I think that today fewer and fewer people think about the big picture, relationships tend to more and more be born out of sex instead of sex being the fruit of a great relationship. Great feedback Quay.. this was exactly the kinda thoughts I intended to provoke.
Sex is the least/most important thing that someone can share in a relationship. its not a small matter its an expressed emotion without words and can be very passionate at times. Its very important to have a good sex partner while in a comitted relationship. This will only lead to more happiness and fulfillment.
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