A Greek Philosopher once said, "We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak", and I think he was really onto something...
In any relationship, between family, friends, or lovers, Communication is the most powerful tool you have. This is the way you relate to each other, share your concerns, and provide your support, among other things. The funny thing about communication is how misunderstood it is...
Communication is a 3 part process:
- Listening: You would be amazed at what a bad listener most of us are.. Time and time again i find myself in a situation where someone mentioned something to me that i could swear I never heard. Its insane that we go through our lives talking and hearing but not really listening at all. Often times i notice that people spend their valuable opportunities to listen, planning their rebuttal instead.
- Speak: Share your thoughts, questions, concerns, support, and every one's favorite part, your side of the story! This is your chance to get things off your chest, so use it wisely, think through your words and let them be your tool.
- Understand: This is the most important part of communication, taking time to understand. Understanding is a two part process as well, you need to understand what your heard and understand the result of the things you said, and how they effected the person they were said to.
More often than not, people fail to communicate with each other and the sad part is we do this with the most important people of all, the people who we are the closest to, and those that we love the most... These victims are the people who we ASSUME to know us the most and we EXPECT them to read our minds. Now I don't know about you, but I am no mind reader. Unless a person tells me straight forward what is on their mind, there's no way I can use my psychic abilities to derive that information, and frankly its selfish to expect that from anyone.
The moral of the story is this, no matter who or what, don't leave anything left unsaid, seize the moment and the opportunity to speak your mind and share your thoughts!
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7 Response to Do we expect our partners to be mind readers?
So of course I agree with everything you said! Communication is so important for so many different reasons. If we didn't have someone to talk to, we would all go insane! Could you imagine living wth every crazy thought you've ever had, and never being able to express them to another person?? So many of us expect for people to be there when we need our problems fixed, when we need a shoulder to cry on, when we just have to vent. But how can that work without good communication? A closed mouth NEVER gets fed! Oh, and I'm reposting that Greek quote on FB...lol
LOL feel free!! Of course you would agree with everything that I said!! Great minds think alike. I can't lie, I am guilty of half of what I wrote here so I know how hard it is to realize one's own flaws...
I'm guilty too! I can say honestly say that my man and I don't have the best communication, but we're working on it! I find it easier to talk to my friends than I do to talk to him, and thats sad. I was referring to myself when I said how ppl expect the next person to help them through issues...everything takes time though..
Exactly!! Same here, I often expect the man in my life to know what im thinking because we are just so in sync, and I really hurt us by doing that... My line usually is "you should have known that would bother me.." in reality, he isnt Miss Cleo :-)
To be honest, no disrespect ladies, but it is common for women to expect guys to be mind readers. A large percentage of women use their emotion to process their "feelings" & lack of coherence from their partners. It is definitely a commutation issue-verbal & nonverbal, because guys by default do not pay close attention to the nonverbal details that we do not understand. Especially when we notice, ask what's wrong, & get the "nothing" gesture a few times. We want straightforward while women want us to dig harder. When we decline to play the game & dig we seem uncompassioate or uncaring. Truth is, All Men hate this game (unless the're gay-no offense gay men). Frankly, it makes no sense but that is how it works with Men being from Mars & women from Venus.
I agree with RudeBwoy completely! We as women do have a tendency to not only want, but NEED our partners to make everything alright when we are feeling down, to congratulate us when we accomplish something, to cheer us on when we're on a happy path. Of course there's nothing wrong with wanting attention, but we have to communicate on some level that we are in need of that. Men on the other hand have serious communication issues, and please don't say that isn't the truth! I sometimes feel that the way a man expresses himself is way worse than how we do...because MOST men don't express themselves at all!
I too agree with RudeBwoy, you have some great points.
Women often abuse our need for attention and that combined with the lack of communication, its a deadly combo...
I am loving all the feedback!
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