Doggie Style, yay or nay?

Recently I have heard a few people mention that doggie style is a bit overrated, its like the "go-to" position for wannabe freaks and its not living up to all the hype.  There's an art to good sex, no matter what position you're in and this position seems to have lost some of its luster.. What are your thoughts?

To Gift or Not to Gift? - That is the Question!

With the Holiday season only days away everyone is in a shopping and gift giving frenzy and I had a friend/reader ask me an interesting question that I would like to share with everyone...

Should I buy a Christmas Gift for my "Friend with Benefits"?

Now my answer for this is simple, "If you want", but let me elaborate.  I personally am a Giver. I enjoy giving gifts and I understand that the concept of a gift is to give someone something that you would like them to have.  Its a simple and easy concept to understand.  There might be an occasion or event that creates the gift giving opportunity but the bottom line is still the same, you give a gift because you want someone to have a certain item, NOT because you expect something in return.

Now if understand that the was to give a gift is with an open heart and without expecting anything in return, then you are ready to select a gift.

A friend with benefits is not just a friend, but a friend that you have a sexual relationship with, so selecting a gift might be easy.  If you have been friends for a long time or if you know of something that this person wants, then your job is simple but if you have no idea what to get, or if you aren't very close friends, then here are my tips...

• Buy something naughty - Theres nothing wrong with buying a "FWB" some lingerie or boxers, its cute, inexpensive and its a great way to remind that friend of how much you appreciate the special benefits that you have arranged.
• Buy something that you can "Share" - If you feel uneasy about buying a gift for this person, but you really want to, a sharable gift is a great compromise.  Think a massage for two, a sexy novelty game, a gift basket of yummy bedroom friendly snacks, a bottle of wine and a box of chocolate truffles, something that is a gift for you both to enjoy while you are together.
• Buy a gift for his/her home or office - this is a great neutral gift.  This gift says "I noticed you like movies/books/candles/lamps/throw pillows/pens/figurines of some sort/paperweights etc, so I thought you might like this.  This shows that you pay attention and you just thought the recipient would have interest in the particular gift.
• Steer clear of "relationship" gifts, like keepsakes, couples items (jewelry, ornaments, picture frames)
• Don't spend a lot of money.  A gift for a friend is coming from the heart, not your wallet, therefore shop from the heart as well...

Those are my suggestions, however, when buying any gift, take the recipient and his/her taste, likes, and or dislikes into consideration. 

Happy Holidays!!

Millionaire Matchmaker - And Why All Guys Should Watch It!

First let me begin by saying, I LOVE THIS SHOW... I am a loyal viewer not only because I love the drama, but Patti Stanger really knows her stuff.  Bravo TV has a ton of Reality TV shows, and they all make for awesome entertainment but this show really teaches both men and women a little about life and love, not to mention it gives us an interesting peek into the dating pool out there.

Basically the premise of the show is to match single wealthy people, all claiming to be millionaires, with potential spouses.  Patti Stanger is the owner of the Beverly Hills based "Millionaire's Club" where the millionaires are her clients and she basically helps them find love.  What I love about this show is that Patti does not go out and find woman to fit a specific description, and sticks them with the millionaire who ordered them like a mail order bride.  What she does is meets with her client, and tries to see what they are looking for and the reasons that they have not yet found a partner.  At times the client needs a makeover, needs some sort of therapy, needs to take a class, or learn a personality skill, no matter the issue, she addresses that before looking for a potential match.  She is aware that her clients are not perfect, and will not match a highly flawed or unstable person with a partner.

From watching this show and following her blog, I have learned a lot of things, but one thing that I always think to myself is "I wish more men watched this show".  Here are a few things that I've learned that I wish more men knew:

1. One of the rules of the millionaires club is that there is NO sex till monogamy.  This is a great rule because if you are using such a service to find a SPOUSE, then sex is not your primary goal, theres is sooo much more that should click first. 
2. The first date can often map out the course of the relationship. Of course this is not written in stone, but we all know how important first impressions are and first dates even more so.  Your first date is your partners first taste of you, your personality, your style, and where they stand in your life.  Be yourself, be real, but be the BEST you possible.

3. The man should plan the first date.  This is something a little old fashioned and many people may not agree with this, but I wish more men did this.  Most women, whether they want to admit it or not, want a Knight in Shining Armor to sweep them off their feet, and what better way to begin a relationship than giving your man the chance to do that.  Its the first date and everything is new and exciting, down the road you will have millions of chances to plan things and make more memories but give him the chance to romance you and slay some dragons for you, remember you cant expect romance unless you give him the chance.
4. Theres nothing wrong with chasing a woman.  Women no matter the age, want to feel beautiful, sexy and desired.  That's the bottom line.  Some women are aggressive and some may play coy, but nothing makes a woman feel sexier than being pursued.  Honestly, I feel very sexy even if a ugly guy is into me. Its just a little reminder that we are desired.  More and more men are becoming more submissive and women are turning into the hunters, but sometimes even the hunter wants to feel like a prized prey, so don't be afraid boys, theres nothing wrong with being straightforward and displaying interest.  Playing Hard to get will only get you so far...
5. Learn to use your dating data.  Every date, good or bad, is one step closer to finding you mate. Men looking for a long term partner need to stop looking at every date as a "smash or pass".  If it isn't great, well then you know what you aren't looking for, as simple as that.. If its great, then keep dating her, once you are officially only seeing each other, then head to bed!

There are a ton more great tips from this show, so much in fact that I just might write another post about this, but I would love to hear your thoughts on this...

Cougars, Cubs, and Manthers, Oh my...

Hello Everyone,

Thanks to some recent inspiration I have compiled an interesting collection of what I like to call, "relationship terms" for you...

• Chickenhawk - an older gay man who sexually pursues younger males.

• Cougar - The term is commonly applied to women who are forty or older and pursue younger men. Hunting their prey, enjoying the "prowl".

• Cradle robber or cradle snatcher - a person involved with a much younger individual.

• Cub/Tadpole - a younger male who is going out with an older partner, often paired with the term Cougar. The term is also often used in the gay community along with the term Bear^.

• Gold digger - someone who develops a relationship with a much older partner or someone whom they do not find attractive physically, intellectually or congenially for primarily financial reasons, especially to inherit the partner's wealth upon death (which is expected to come soon), or upon divorce.

• Jailbait - a sexually attractive young person who is below the legal age of consent.

• Lolita - a sexually precocious girl who is the object of desire of a significantly older man. The term's origin is the name of the title character in Vladimir Nabokov's novel Lolita, whom the book's narrator, Humbert Humbert, calls a nymphet.

• Manther - A male 40 years of age or older, who pursues younger women, typically younger than half his age.

• May–December romance - a relationship in which the age difference between the two adults is wide enough to risk social disapproval.

• MILF (an acronym of "Mother [or 'Mom'] I'd Like/Love to Fuck") - a sexually desirable mother, though not necessarily an older woman. The term is used frequently as a descriptor of pornography featuring older women, assumed to be mothers.

• Puma - a woman in her thirties who dates a younger man (i.e., 20-somethings), often considered a "cougar in training". It also means a cougar whose age disparity is less than eight years.

• Sugar daddy/mommy - a rich, usually older person who offers money or gifts to a less rich, usually younger person in return for companionship or sexual favors. This differs from prostitution in that the older person is usually the sole financial provider to the younger person.

• Boy Toy - a much younger boyfriend or husband of an older woman.

• Troll - an older gay/bi man, often a less-attractive one, who cruises younger men for sex.

• Trout - An older man who dates a younger woman.

Some of these I have heard, but most were pretty new to me... what are some interesting terms you have heard?

5 Interesting things that Turn Men Off!

Hello Everyone,

Today I did some interesting "research" and I am dying to share my results with you...
I asked around to different men and proposed this question "What turns you off sexually about a woman?"
and here are the most popular and interesting answers that I got...

1. Dead in Bed- Men hate a woman who is wack in bed... theres nothing worse that having sex with a woman whose body is limp and seems distant.  This shouldn't come as a surprise, as a woman, we don't want to be intimate with a man who isn't passionate about whats happening, so why would it be any different for a man? Men want a woman who is passionate and full of "fire", she should be totally present, and take lots of initiative, aggressive even!
2. Poor Grooming - This was the second biggest complaint - Basically, say no to bushy pubes! No one wants to dig through a Forrest of hair to find the goods, so keep it trimmed, shaved, or waxed. Its sexier and cleaner and nothing is sexier than being clean!! Ladies, keep this in mind, when you are trimmed, your man gets a better view, and we all know how visual men are!

3. Worn Out Panties - It shocked me that so many women that I know thought that their men didn't care about the type/condition of their panties... I understand that girls want to be comfortable, but there are VERY sexy panties out there that are made of breathable cotton materials that are still extremely sexy. Why wear underwear with your man that you have been with for a while that you wouldn't wear on "opening night" with a new man?? Think of your panties as the "gift wrapping", and the kitty as the "gift", it should be pretty, clean, inviting, and welcoming.. get rid of the holey, worn out, stretched out, ripped elastic, seen better days panties at the bottom of your drawer... NO ONE wants to see that...
4. Vaginal Dryness - Whether you have a medical condition, are going through menopause, or are just not turned on, Vaginal Dryness is a HUGE turnoff.  Like I mention on my previous post, wetter is better, and if you are dry, you have options... Get some replens, its a product sold to re-hydrate the vagina, designed for women with medical related dryness, or get some LUBE... Having sex with a dry women is the equivalent of fucking a guy who is soft, its difficult to do, and it makes you wonder if they are turned on... so get wet ladies! 

5. Strange Odors - This is no surprise... men are turned off my women who smell, any kind of negative smell is a sexual turn off... I often hear women say that they find it very sexy when their man smells a little sweaty, but I NEVER hear men say that.. Men often hold their women to unrealistic standards, but that's just the way they are programmed and smells are part of that issue.  If you are clean and well groomed then this will all fall into place and this shouldn't be an issue at all, all your body smells should be positive and pheromone packed!!

What are your thoughts??

Wetter is better - Lube for Dummies

Hello Everyone,

Tonight I want to talk about lube.. Basically I decided to write about this because someone I know confided in me that he and his girlfriend are still using baby oil gel in bed as lube, and basically, I cringed... so this is for him lol...

When I say "lube" I mean personal lubricant, sold for sexual or medical purposes, and designed specifically for use on the genital area.  Lube basically reduces friction during masturbation or sexual acts, and theres tons of great products on the market for this purpose. Not every slippery substance is suitable as lube. This is something that I cannot stress enough! Baby oil, petroleum jelly, and crisco (lmao) are great for a ton of other uses, but not as lube. 

Heres why:

• Most oil based lubes will cause a condom to deteriorate and weaken, therefore increasing the chance of accidental pregnancy and spreading STD's.
• Some substances are not easily washed off, they may leave a less than pleasant residue.
• Some may encourage infection in women, just because its greasy, it doesn't mean you can shove it in there.

There are three kinds of personal lubricant on the market, water based, oil based, and silicone based.  They are all great, but which is right for you depends on your preference and any allergic reactions you might have.
Here's the difference...

Water Based: You guessed it, Water based lube is made from WATER, its slippery, slick, and is easily cleaned up, just use a Little warm water and its GONE.  The downside is that it will dry up quicker than oil based or silicone based products, but the plus side is that it is 100% condom safe, no matter what kinda condom you decide to use, a water based lube is safe! The most popular water based lubes are KY Jelly, Astroglide, and WET but there are tons out there.

Oil Based:  Like I mentioned above, these are baby oil and petroleum jelly, neither are a great idea for use with condoms.

Silicone Based: These are similar to Water based in that they are condom safe and they clean up easier than Oil based lubes, they are thinner than most and are super slick. Unlike water based products, silicone lube will not dry out so theres no needs to keep reapplying (a huge plus) the only downside is that some people are allergic, so be careful when using this.  Popular Brands are Wet PLATINUM and Bodyglide.

Now those are the basics, but theres also specialty lubes out there, like the His and Her varieties which offer warming, numbing, cooling and tingling sensations as well, the lube you pick is up to you but be safe and get WET!!