S&M... Do you like it ROUGH?

Hello Everyone,

Its been a while since I last posted I had a little writers block but I was compelled to write about Rough Sex... Ever since the song S&M came out (Rihanna), everyone seems to "feel so good being bad" and claims to like it "rough", so lets explore that a little.... 

I can honestly say that I liked it a little rough even before it was cool to like it rough.. I always found the appeal in doing something a little taboo, that sort of feeling that the pleasure is so good I need a little pain to make it real. Now S&M is very different from liking sex a little rough... There are several different types and it involves a lot more than a little hair pulling and butt slapping. 

S&M stands for Sadomachocism, a form of sexual role-play, which broadly reffers to recieving pleasure from pain or humiliation.  I know this sounds very strange but it can be broken down even further into BDSM, which is bondage and dicipline S&M, which would even encompass being tied up, or gagged during sex. 

Now here is the fun part, my Rough Sex for Dummies tips:

• Establish a Safe Word - Often times begging and saying no, and stop are part of the pleasurable experience of "rough sex" and S&M type role playing, so a safe word insures that the "play" never gets too rough or a misunderstanding is to occur. The word should me something that you wouldnt normally use during lovemaking, something like "turtle" or "orange" works well, it should be short, and easy to remember too.
• Remember to get consent - Rough Sex is the kind of sex that you need additional consent for.  It falls into the same category as oral, anal, and anything else that you wouldnt imagine your grandparents ever doing.  The right time to approach this would be during some playful foreplay, or maybe during a flirting session. Always remember, just because you have the green light for sex, it does not mean rough sex is okay.
• Start Gradually -  Begin with a heavier tough, before any other rough play begins, start off my caressing a little harder, pulling his/her hair lightly, and then ease into spanking and biting. These are easy ways to determine what your partner enjoys.

• Restraints - People often talk about wanting to be tied up, or tying up their partner but few people acutally do this and end up enjoying this... heres why... most people opt for handcuffs, and handcuffs HURT! Instead, save yourself a few bucks and use a scarf or a mens silky tie, its strong, you have it handy for spur of the moment sex, and it wont hurt like a handcuff. If you want to buy something for this specific use, then invest in some Japanese silk rope, its a strong silky rope that wont bruise or fray and it has lots of creative uses.
• Scratching and Wax - These sort of go hand in hand because they can both easily get botched and end up hurting badly.  With dripping any melted substance I like the 3 second and blow rule. Before applying it to the skin, blow it and wait three seconds, chances are its not going to burn the skin.   With scratching, I like to save that for the climax, its not sexy to have someone scratch you during foreplay, its hard to keep it gentle like a nibble.  During climax all the blood is rushing to other areas of the body and scratching can almost express the intense feelings you are feeling, just be careful not to break the skin.

Rough Sex can be very pleasurable if done right, just remember, enjoy it, be careful and mindful of your partner, and remember your safe word ;-)

How to put a condom on with your mouth

Hello everyone!!

Lets face it, no one "likes" wearing a condom but in order to be safe and healthy, to prevent the spread of STD's and STI's and avoid unplanned pregnancy, condoms are necessary.  Here is a little trick to getting your guy to wear a condom!

I discovered this a few years ago and I have tried it a few times, let me just say, this works best with a flavored condom, I have done it with other kinds as well but some lubricants have a funny taste or leave a numbing feeling in your mouth, its my strong recommendation that you use a flavored condom when doing this.

Basically you would do this either during of before performing oral sex. Simply open the condom, place it with the rolled side facing up, in your mouth, slightly suck at the tip while using your lips and teeth to gently roll the condom down over the penis.  See the video below of an actual demonstration.



This is not only a great way to encourage your partner to wear a condom during sex and oral sex but its also pretty sexy when done correctly.

Try it ladies, and guys be sure to show this to your ladies...

How safe is your Sex?

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What men notice first!!

As we near the end of February, the month of love, I wanted to spotlight something interesting that I learned this month. Women are always interested in learning more about men and the things that they find attractive, this is a topic that I often write about, but just this week I read about men and their attraction to healthy hair.  According to Glamour:

• 74% of men indicated that they notice women because of their hair.
• 44% of men surveyed said that hair is the first thing they notice about a woman, more than her clothes (26%), legs (25%), or makeup (4%), and most men surveyed would be more likely to approach a woman at a bar with great hair than a woman wearing a low-cut shirt.
• 82% of men indicated that sexy hair is a key element to a woman's overall sex appeal.
• 60% of men surveyed say they would rather date a woman with great hair than a woman with big breasts.
• 78% of men surveyed consider healthy hair to be a turn-on.

So ladies, treat your hair well, he might be paying more attention to your locks then you thing!

How to handle a break up ONLINE!

As we approach Valentines Day (Feb 14th) and Break up with your Ex/National Unfriend Day (Feb 13th), I want to tackle the topic of how to handle a break up, online.  In today's society your life, especially the social aspects are very much intertwined with the Internet, whether its Facebook, or twitter or Foursquare, we are all linked to the net, but when you are going through a break up, that isn't always a good thing. As a matter of fact, its a horrible thing.  Here are some of my tips to help those that are going through the Post-Holiday/Pre-Valentines Day break up blues... 

• Don't drink and tweet... or text or post or whatever it is that you do... I know its easier to sleep at night after a few glasses, or bottles but keep away from all forms of communication after hitting the bottle.  You don't want to end up pouring out your heart to your ex, or anyone else... its just going to make things worse.. so be careful. You don't need the whole world to know about your broken heart.
• Don't check in - If you are using FourSquare or twitter or FB, don't broadcast your whereabouts, you never know who might see it and you definitely don't want a stalker ex to know where to find you.

• Block your ex... out of sight = out of mind. Its much harder to stop thinking about someone who is everywhere you look. Someone who had mutual friends will keep popping into convos and posts so once u block them, you wont have to deal with seeing them online.  Get friendly with your privacy settings and protect yourself from the intrusion. 
• Don't make your friends choose - If you have many mutual friends, its okay to talk and vent to them, but never make them choose. Not only is it unfair but it makes you look like a bad friend.  Real friends will be there for you and support you in your time of need, but remember, just because you are hurting it doesn't give you the right to be a bad friend in return.
• Unfriend when you are ready - If you are ready to unfriend now, then more power to you! But....if you aren't ready, then just block that persons feed, and keep it moving.. if someone is really a pain in the ass, then unfriend them. Remember, its JUST facebook, you wouldn't keep a bad friend around in real life so what makes "friendship" different via the Internet? Remember, you and your happiness comes first.