I can honestly say that I liked it a little rough even before it was cool to like it rough.. I always found the appeal in doing something a little taboo, that sort of feeling that the pleasure is so good I need a little pain to make it real. Now S&M is very different from liking sex a little rough... There are several different types and it involves a lot more than a little hair pulling and butt slapping.
S&M stands for Sadomachocism, a form of sexual role-play, which broadly reffers to recieving pleasure from pain or humiliation. I know this sounds very strange but it can be broken down even further into BDSM, which is bondage and dicipline S&M, which would even encompass being tied up, or gagged during sex.
- Establish a Safe Word - Often times begging and saying no, and stop are part of the pleasurable experience of "rough sex" and S&M type role playing, so a safe word insures that the "play" never gets too rough or a misunderstanding is to occur. The word should me something that you wouldnt normally use during lovemaking, something like "turtle" or "orange" works well, it should be short, and easy to remember too.
- Remember to get consent - Rough Sex is the kind of sex that you need additional consent for. It falls into the same category as oral, anal, and anything else that you wouldnt imagine your grandparents ever doing. The right time to approach this would be during some playful foreplay, or maybe during a flirting session. Always remember, just because you have the green light for sex, it does not mean rough sex is okay.
- Start Gradually - Begin with a heavier tough, before any other rough play begins, start off my caressing a little harder, pulling his/her hair lightly, and then ease into spanking and biting. These are easy ways to determine what your partner enjoys.
- Restraints - People often talk about wanting to be tied up, or tying up their partner but few people acutally do this and end up enjoying this... heres why... most people opt for handcuffs, and handcuffs HURT! Instead, save yourself a few bucks and use a scarf or a mens silky tie, its strong, you have it handy for spur of the moment sex, and it wont hurt like a handcuff. If you want to buy something for this specific use, then invest in some Japanese silk rope, its a strong silky rope that wont bruise or fray and it has lots of creative uses.
- Scratching and Wax - These sort of go hand in hand because they can both easily get botched and end up hurting badly. With dripping any melted substance I like the 3 second and blow rule. Before applying it to the skin, blow it and wait three seconds, chances are its not going to burn the skin. With scratching, I like to save that for the climax, its not sexy to have someone scratch you during foreplay, its hard to keep it gentle like a nibble. During climax all the blood is rushing to other areas of the body and scratching can almost express the intense feelings you are feeling, just be careful not to break the skin.