
Making someone your priority, when all you are to them is an option is one of the most painful situations that BOTH men and women allow themselves to end up in. I say this mainly because no one can "do this to you", this is something that we do to ourselves. In relationships we often become so absorbed in trying to please our partners, that we neglect to reap in return the fruits of this labor. Being in a mutually loving relationship can be a beautiful thing but often times its not as mutual as we think and when we realize this its often too late to do something about it.
Now here comes the tricky part, how do you know if you are just an option?
There really is no sure fire way to tell, because all relationships are different, but here are some examples:
- You often feel disappointed by your partner (your partner does not live up to your expectations)
- You find yourself weighing the contributions that each of you make to the relationship ("I always do or give more than you/I love you more/you don't love me enough")
- You feel under appreciated
- You find yourself feeling "territorial"
- Your partner does not offer you exclusivity
- Your partner does not attempt to create a sense of security
I know you may be thinking that these are just textbook signs of insecurity or trust issues, however, often times such issues are key symptoms of such a relationship.
Now, how can you tell if you are making your partner too much of a priority?
In any mutually loving relationship, your partner becomes a priority, but if the relationship is not balanced, here are some key signs that you are putting too much into a relationship:
- You find yourself neglecting your responsibilities (work, school, etc)
- You put the happiness of your partner before your own happiness (If he/she is happy, then I am happy)
- You neglect your family and friends and end up feeling isolated
- You feel that your relationship is a financial strain (you should never feel that your relationship is costing you too much, any money spent in an mutually loving relationship would never be thought of as a waste or a mistake)
Most importantly, this applies to both men and women, in any relationship, You should always feel loved, valued, and most importantly RESPECTED..
What are your thoughts?